To give.

A tale of Two Seas

Sitting in the Geography class in school, I remember how fascinated I was when we were being taught all about the Dead Sea. As you probably recall, the Dead Sea is really a Lake, not a sea (and as my Geography teacher pointed out, if you understood that, it would guarantee 4 marks in the term paper!)
Its so high in salt content that the human body can float easily. You can almost lie down and read a book! The salt in the Dead Sea is as high as 35% - almost 10 times the normal ocean water. And all that saltiness has meant that there is no life at all in the Dead Sea. No fish. No vegetation. No sea animals. Nothing lives in the Dead sea.

And hence the name: Dead sea.

While the Dead Sea has remained etched in my memory, I don't seem to recall learning about the Sea of Galilee in my school Geography lesson. So when I heard about the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea and the tale of the two seas - I was intrigued. Turns out that the Sea of Galilee is just north of the Dead Sea. Both the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea receive their water from river Jordan. And yet, they are very, very different.


Unlike the Dead Sea, the Sea of Galilee is pretty, resplendent with rich, colorful marine life. There are lots of plants. And lots of fish too. In fact, the sea of Galilee is home to over twenty different types of fishes.


Same region, same source of water, and yet while one sea is full of life, the other is dead.. How come?


Here apparently is why. The River Jordan flows into the Sea of Galilee and then flows out. The water simply passes through the Sea of Galilee in and then out - and that keeps the Sea healthy and vibrant, teeming with marine life.


But the Dead Sea is so far below the mean sea level, that it has no outlet. The water flows in from the river Jordan, but does not flow out. There are no outlet streams. It is estimated that over a million tons of water evaporate from the Dead Sea every day. Leaving it salty. Too full of minerals. And unfit for any marine life.


The Dead Sea takes water from the River Jordan, and holds it. It does not give. Result? No life at all.

Think about it.

Life is not just about getting. Its about giving. We all need to be a bit like the Sea of Galilee.

We are fortunate to get wealth, knowledge, love and respect. But if we don't learn to give, we could all end up like the Dead Sea. The love and the respect, the wealth and the knowledge could all evaporate. Like the water in the Dead Sea.


If we get the Dead Sea mentality of merely taking in more water, more money, more everything the results can be disastrous. Good idea to make sure that in the sea of your own life, you have outlets. Many outlets. For love and wealth - and everything else that you get in your life. Make sure you don't just get, you give too. Open the taps. And you'll open the floodgates to happiness.


Make that a habit. To share. To give.

And experience life. Experience the magic!

Take your Empathy test!

0 - 32 = low (most people with Asperger Syndrome or high-functioning autism score about 20)
33 - 52 = average (most women score about 47 and most men score about 42)
53 - 63 is above average
64 - 80 is very high
80 is maximum

I GOT 55 :o

Emotions relapse

I don't know why I feel so emotional now but I really need a ranting space before I really break down. I appreciate how people always try to be there for me, but sometimes it just doesn't help because its all inside me and how I feel. No matter how I try to put it into words, it never comes out exactly how I'm feeling inside.

I feel so used. So like a substitute. I don't feel valued nor even appreciated for. Everybody can just irk me so easily. I feel very sensitive. But fuck, I wasn't like this before. Why has this new school moulded me into such a miserable person? Why can't they make me feel like this is my second home like how Xinmin never fails to do? Why?

They're making me lose my passion for something that used to get my going in school. Something that was a source of motivation and encouragement. They're ruining my life. They're not giving chances. They're taking every single little thing that's so priceless away from me.

I really hate this. I really want to break down now.

This feeling inside can't even be explained with just plain words. All these are just understatements. I'm too naive to think this feeling of regret will go away. I know it won't. I must just hang in there and hopefully I won't die halfway through this 2 year journey. (or maybe 3)

I MISS XINMIN SECONDARY SCHOOL AND MY COHORT PEOPLE TO THE MAX. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.

And the best part probably comes when the people I need the most doesn't even realise how much I need them now.

Lies and the heart to deceive and mislead.

I don't understand why some people just can't tell the truth and have to hide it. Be someone you are, and not someone you try to be. Because its so god damn obvious I feel like telling you in the face that you should stop trying to do it simply due to the reason that I can totally see through you, and why wouldn't others? Don't try to mislead me with some answers so that it can shut me up or satisfy me even for that little moment.

Somehow I'd rather you not tell me an answer. I admit I'll keep whining about it and making you tell me the answer, but at least I'm not misled, YET. I hate it when people lie. For whatever fucking reason. Unless its a white lie with a good supporting reason to use it, yes. But if you just tell me we aren't close and all, I'd accept it in the end too, wouldn't I? Urgh damn just hate this feeling of people not trusting me.

On a lighter note, I'm happy for my birthday celebrations. Thanks to the badminton team esp Ei Huan and Yunru that ran in the rain for the cake, Yina, Darren, Yuxian & Jason for the cards and Sisterhood for the cake! :) Not forgetting Liyi, Yuxiang and Harvest for gifts no matter how small! ^^ AND MY BEST CRAYON WHO HAS THE SAME BIRTHDAY AS ME FOR THE PRETTY CARD AND CUTE LITTLE DINO CUPCAKE THAT I DID NOT MANAGE TO EAT SINCE THE ANTS BEAT ME TO IT. :(

Birthdays are supposed to be joyful, not tearful.

Yeah I'm likka crying little bitch now.

Can't go out for dinner even on my birthday eve. I feel thoroughly screwed. And I'm even chided for having a boyfriend. I can never go out. Not on any of the 365 days. Even if I do, I NEVER get to stay over. Overprotective strict parents? Definite yes. My whole life should just be getting A's and earning lots of money in the future.

I never get any support in my family. And you guys ask why I always attend to my phone. And you guys ALWAYS think that after giving me all that shit, giving me a hug and telling me you love me solves everything. I'm telling you, the hurt that you've caused never goes away. There's no hurt that ever goes away no matter what you do. No matter what ANYONE does.

Sorry is just for forgiveness - a promise you'll never use their past sins against them. But no, it never makes the hurt go away even if I feel better.

My birthday is screwed already even before it arrived. I just hope tomorrow will be a better day for me. :(

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Never should've thought life's gonna be smooth.

LifeFrame is like fun. :))

Its been a problematic week, but I guess I've survived so far.

Can't stand how people never really accept me for who I am. Its starting to make me want to change, to change out of this personality that I've had for years. One that I've felt so comfortable and happy with. Now I've to change.

And I'm not even changing for even the slightest bit of a smart reason. Nor does it even make sense.

Everybody has flaws, but do remember that everybody do have strengths. I've learnt to hang out with people I don't like, but I don't openly show that I dislike them. Yes, I may ignore them a little here and there, but I don't ignore them entirely. Basically I'm just trying to avoid getting myself all worked up and ruining friendships in the end. Afterall, I believe that everybody deserves a chance, a second chance, and sometimes even the third.

I miss my secondary school alot. Though there were so many conflicts here and there, but we survived it all. We forgave and forgot, we gave in and took, we accept and get accepted, we comfort and hurt, we cry and laugh - but all in all, it ended happily. Till now, I haven't really felt the 'omg i love this school and this team max'. We've had conflicts in our old team, many in fact, but I've never felt like this before. I've never fucking cried because of people I'm not even close with. But yesterday I did, and I can't remember how many times I did that last night. I've never even cried for so long before. And the simple reason was - I felt inferior. I didn't feel good enough. I couldn't meet expectations. I didn't behave the ideal way. I couldn't feel comfortable, nor express myself. It just didn't feel like MY team. The people I've accepted became strangers, and the strangers become my friends. I don't know what's going on.

I just don't like the feeling of this. I hate feeling inferior. My self-esteem's going down all over again. I don't even wanna be viewed in the light. I just want to be more capable.

I'M GONNA FUCKING PROVE EVERYBODY WRONG. Because I never believe I won't get up after a fall. No matter how deep I fell, I'm getting up all over again. I'm not gonna give up on myself like how I always used to. I'm never gonna let myself down anymore.

T, I'm sorry you feel that I'm avoiding you now, but I'm just not so prepared to give you the third chance so soon. Maybe because I'm facing complications myself, and my heart can't settle. You'll soon realise what has gone wrong, and maybe someday you'll realise that this is what the society like. You shouldn't assume we're like your secondary school friends, because we aren't. Neither are all of you any like my secondary school friends. Everybody just change over time, and even I've to change now. So maybe someday I'll be opening up to you again, and hopefully you're not gonna try and hurt us all over again.

XMS

Just talked to weepin and now I really really miss Xinmin a hell lot.

All that memories and all the warmth of my friends, seniors, juniors, teachers and even admin staffs, principals, vice-principals, everything. The whole year when I was in my secondary four, with or without training, was awesome.

I still miss my coach a hell lot of course, and my awesomest team. Not forgetting my class, cohort, and everybody that made my experience there worthwhile.

I'd pay any price to go through it all again.

The feeling I get when I wake up every morning, dead tired and whining, but deep down I've this burning passion to go to school and see all my friends and enjoy life.

Even if its just studying together.

Beautiful places.

"The most beautiful place isn't the place with the best view or the greatest scenery.

It's the place that your heart is at ease, even when you're alone.

You could be in the middle of the deadliest ocean and you're all calm.

You can feel the breeze gently blowing, kissing your cheeks.

You can feel your hair swishing, you breathe in the freshest air and there's nothing more that you would want to do but to keep standing there.

A reassuring arm is on your shoulder. You enjoy the company of each other, in silence.

I wonder if Heaven is like that, where we can just stand there and watch the people we love, living their lives away. Our hearts at ease, pounding so silently, you can't find your pulse.

2 years has since passed. And we all went on our separate ways, some still in touch, some completely forgotten, but we all reunite today. Claudia, hope Heaven is how you want and how you like it to be. Hope you life up there, isn't painful. Happy 2nd year Claudia...."

Taken from Geokmin's blog.

Happy girl with pierced ear! :))

Did I mention I went to pierce my ears yesterday? It was like so awesome. Even the compass point 77th street lady was so super nice. I saw her and thought she'd be like those damn attitude one especially after I saw her talk to her friend like a little not happy. :x

Oh well, never judge a book by its over, cause she was awesomely nice. She waited v patiently for me to be FULLY prepared and didn't rush me at all. Instead she was v polite and uber patient. I like man! ;) Maybe that's why it didn't really hurt. She was quite gentle I guess. :))

YAY ME IZ LIKE HAPPY GIRL WITH PIERCED EAR. SHALL UPLOAD PHOTOS SOON.

HAD FUN @ TODAY'S OUTING WITH THE BADMINTON GIRLS CAUSE I MIZZ THEM LIKE LOADS AND LOADS AND STUDYING WITH NEMO AND RED NOSE REINDEER WAS FAIL BUT MANY MANY PICTURES TAKEN! ^^

Yay upload next round. Now need to go to sleep. Aye, Xinminians forever the most awesome cause they always make me feel like I belong and I just feel so damn comfortable with them. Even Wanyi today damn awesomely nice to me and she kinda opened up a little to me! Haha thought this day would never come.

YES ME IS GOING TO GO TO SLEEP A HAPPY GIRL NOW. :))

Luv y'alls! (L)