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Never should've thought life's gonna be smooth.

LifeFrame is like fun. :))

Its been a problematic week, but I guess I've survived so far.

Can't stand how people never really accept me for who I am. Its starting to make me want to change, to change out of this personality that I've had for years. One that I've felt so comfortable and happy with. Now I've to change.

And I'm not even changing for even the slightest bit of a smart reason. Nor does it even make sense.

Everybody has flaws, but do remember that everybody do have strengths. I've learnt to hang out with people I don't like, but I don't openly show that I dislike them. Yes, I may ignore them a little here and there, but I don't ignore them entirely. Basically I'm just trying to avoid getting myself all worked up and ruining friendships in the end. Afterall, I believe that everybody deserves a chance, a second chance, and sometimes even the third.

I miss my secondary school alot. Though there were so many conflicts here and there, but we survived it all. We forgave and forgot, we gave in and took, we accept and get accepted, we comfort and hurt, we cry and laugh - but all in all, it ended happily. Till now, I haven't really felt the 'omg i love this school and this team max'. We've had conflicts in our old team, many in fact, but I've never felt like this before. I've never fucking cried because of people I'm not even close with. But yesterday I did, and I can't remember how many times I did that last night. I've never even cried for so long before. And the simple reason was - I felt inferior. I didn't feel good enough. I couldn't meet expectations. I didn't behave the ideal way. I couldn't feel comfortable, nor express myself. It just didn't feel like MY team. The people I've accepted became strangers, and the strangers become my friends. I don't know what's going on.

I just don't like the feeling of this. I hate feeling inferior. My self-esteem's going down all over again. I don't even wanna be viewed in the light. I just want to be more capable.

I'M GONNA FUCKING PROVE EVERYBODY WRONG. Because I never believe I won't get up after a fall. No matter how deep I fell, I'm getting up all over again. I'm not gonna give up on myself like how I always used to. I'm never gonna let myself down anymore.

T, I'm sorry you feel that I'm avoiding you now, but I'm just not so prepared to give you the third chance so soon. Maybe because I'm facing complications myself, and my heart can't settle. You'll soon realise what has gone wrong, and maybe someday you'll realise that this is what the society like. You shouldn't assume we're like your secondary school friends, because we aren't. Neither are all of you any like my secondary school friends. Everybody just change over time, and even I've to change now. So maybe someday I'll be opening up to you again, and hopefully you're not gonna try and hurt us all over again.

XMS

Just talked to weepin and now I really really miss Xinmin a hell lot.

All that memories and all the warmth of my friends, seniors, juniors, teachers and even admin staffs, principals, vice-principals, everything. The whole year when I was in my secondary four, with or without training, was awesome.

I still miss my coach a hell lot of course, and my awesomest team. Not forgetting my class, cohort, and everybody that made my experience there worthwhile.

I'd pay any price to go through it all again.

The feeling I get when I wake up every morning, dead tired and whining, but deep down I've this burning passion to go to school and see all my friends and enjoy life.

Even if its just studying together.

Beautiful places.

"The most beautiful place isn't the place with the best view or the greatest scenery.

It's the place that your heart is at ease, even when you're alone.

You could be in the middle of the deadliest ocean and you're all calm.

You can feel the breeze gently blowing, kissing your cheeks.

You can feel your hair swishing, you breathe in the freshest air and there's nothing more that you would want to do but to keep standing there.

A reassuring arm is on your shoulder. You enjoy the company of each other, in silence.

I wonder if Heaven is like that, where we can just stand there and watch the people we love, living their lives away. Our hearts at ease, pounding so silently, you can't find your pulse.

2 years has since passed. And we all went on our separate ways, some still in touch, some completely forgotten, but we all reunite today. Claudia, hope Heaven is how you want and how you like it to be. Hope you life up there, isn't painful. Happy 2nd year Claudia...."

Taken from Geokmin's blog.

Happy girl with pierced ear! :))

Did I mention I went to pierce my ears yesterday? It was like so awesome. Even the compass point 77th street lady was so super nice. I saw her and thought she'd be like those damn attitude one especially after I saw her talk to her friend like a little not happy. :x

Oh well, never judge a book by its over, cause she was awesomely nice. She waited v patiently for me to be FULLY prepared and didn't rush me at all. Instead she was v polite and uber patient. I like man! ;) Maybe that's why it didn't really hurt. She was quite gentle I guess. :))

YAY ME IZ LIKE HAPPY GIRL WITH PIERCED EAR. SHALL UPLOAD PHOTOS SOON.

HAD FUN @ TODAY'S OUTING WITH THE BADMINTON GIRLS CAUSE I MIZZ THEM LIKE LOADS AND LOADS AND STUDYING WITH NEMO AND RED NOSE REINDEER WAS FAIL BUT MANY MANY PICTURES TAKEN! ^^

Yay upload next round. Now need to go to sleep. Aye, Xinminians forever the most awesome cause they always make me feel like I belong and I just feel so damn comfortable with them. Even Wanyi today damn awesomely nice to me and she kinda opened up a little to me! Haha thought this day would never come.

YES ME IS GOING TO GO TO SLEEP A HAPPY GIRL NOW. :))

Luv y'alls! (L)

How to be a better person.

1. Listen more.
2. Critisize less, keep thoughts to self.
3. Do not lose temper especially with people I love.
4. Do not judge.
5. Take a deep breath when feeling resentment and see things in a different perspective.
6. Empathize others.
7. Control my attitude and not overreact.
8. Do not get too emotional.
9. Live without pretending, love without depending, listen without defending, speak without offending.
10. Cherish, and count my blessings.

I miss all the friendships that we all took so long to make perfect.

And now that we've gone through all the obstacles meant to break us up, we graduated.

All the conflicts, arguments, blog wars, resentment, anger, disappointments, tears - they're all deeply etched in my heart. Because some friendships just never get forgotten no matter how far we're all apart now.

I miss every single one of you, because all of you made world a place I know it to be.

I just wish it'd stay that way.

That longing of belonging.

It doesn't matter that I look horrid here. Because the times then were so beautiful. I was whining my whole life away in Xinmin I pressume, and then now that I've left, the feeling eats me from inside out.

Nothing's gonna feel the same anymore. I've been left out in Xinmin, but the feeling, the homeliness is irreplaceable. The people, the conflicts, the teachers; even with all the flaws taken into consideration, triumphs everything I'm going through now.

Life really sucks. Just thinking about Xinmin makes me wanna cry. My team, my classmates, our fooling around, gossiping sessions, rumours, EVERY SINGLE THING. I miss our cohort. I really really do. I admit I didn't wanna come into Xinmin, but when I stepped into the school, I knew I was gonna miss it when I leave. I didn't know why then, but now I do. My instincts were right.

I just live in regret everyday with the decisions I make ever since I graduated. I don't mind taking O's again as long as this feeling goes away. This feeling is gonna eat me up for two whole darn years.

Hahaha cuteness max.

Woah I think last time I'm like effing cute. Hahaha buay tahan.

Today imba good mood Idk why. Maybe cause I slept like super long, or maybe its cause of the movie yesterday. Aye, Ei Huan just damn funny I also buay tahan. ^^

She was crying before yewheng asked her if Henry died. She had to turn her head away before telling him yes cause like awkward max. Imba funny.

Idk why but it still makes me laugh.

Shit this is not good.

Forgiving max.

Some things are not meant to be held on for so long. Hating is tiring.

I'm gonna try my very best not to be bias against anyone so k.

I LET GO SO YOU BETTER STOP ANNOYING PLEASE KTHXBAI.

I think I very good girl.

And I think I laugh too much.

I think I talk too much.

Me shall try to be silent girl as much as possible.

No more noisy girl alr k.