everything's giving up on me.

i went to bathe, wet myself and wanted to wash my hair before i realised my shampoo was empty. After trying to tell my mother i've no more shampoo, i came out of the bathing cubicle, freezing, to get substitute hotel shampoos.
Not long after did i realise i ran out of shower gel too. And my brother claims it cause i didnt refill it. Wow. :/

1. Prelims are coming and i cant even absorb anything.
2. I always freeze when people are complaining how hot it is.
3. You're really being heartless. Your mum's wrong, we can't even be friends.
4. I feel fucking tired with dark eye circles but i can't even have a good sleep.
5. My eyelids are closing.
6. I always drag myself to shower.
7. I can't feel secure anytime of the day.
8. I keep getting scolded and nobody is satisfied with me.
9. I've no proper place to cry that i've to supress my tears all the time and controlling your tears is so bloody hard.
10. I updated my blog 4 times within a short time.
11. I wish claudia didn't die. Maybe even if everything still happens, at least you wouldn't be so heartless.
12. I still believe in the positive image of you.
13. I still want you to come back. I hope I'll have your heart again.
14. I wish everything's back to how it was, that i have my friends and my significant other.
15. I realised that i've nobody. Everybody just come and go. I kinda think i deserve it.

All in all, i wish i'll just disappear, to bring misery away and to fill it with colours.
Even if you're colourblind, i want you to see everything beautiful that i ruined.

I just havent figured out how to disappear yet. :/