life failed.

night to day was supposedly a success and im glad it made me realise things more now.
I shouldnt hold on to things that arent mine, and yesterday, i realised that nothing in xinmin belonged to me.

Even the people inside didnt. None did.
I think that i most probably wont be going for grad night.
I doubt people would realise that i exist anyway.

Feeling really insignificant and emotional now. :(
I feel like shit for not being able to be strong and insensitive.

Nonetheless, im glad i didnt feel hated yesterday. Its just that i felt that i didnt exist, that's all. Maybe thats a good news.

You said you were guilty for not being there when im so sad. Now im still fucking sad and i need you a hell lot. But you've others now. I see how they've so successfully replaced me in your heart. I know this is my retribution, i wont complain much. Im just glad you're happy with them, cause they can give you the joy that i cant now. Because i need so much of joy now too.