seventh month.

Today was supposedly a happy day for me. To say that im not affected by the date would definitely be a lie. To say that im not sad would be another. Lastly, to say that i didnt cry and my heart didnt feel a thousand stabs would be a freaking big fat lie. (like how you called me a big fat liar, well, i probably am.)
Nonetheless, im still alive and kicking. And waking up every morning with you being the first thought like how it has been for the past seven months hurts too. I know i should have gotten over this. But i've got to be stronger i guess. Though i've lost all the friends i used to have, i probably gained a few texting buddies. :) Blogging and facebooking never fails to say what i really feel deep down; something that might be deepest secret.
Though everybody will see this, but to me, only i am seeing this. And whoever does see this is entitled to, because for whatever reason you come here for (to laugh, to pity or to show some concern) i'll update you no matter what.
No matter who asks me about anything, i'll tell. Because to me, nobody holds a higher rank anymore. Everybody that did left. Whatever the reason is, if you care enough to ask, i care enough to tell.

I've a hunch today wont be a great day, but im sure i'll make it through. All my relatives are going back to their own countries today and i've tuition. Best of all, i need to start mugging.


I admired our homecoming picture today, i just wished i looked prettier then. I wished i smiled as happily as you did. Cause all i want to do now is cry.
But, i hope you're still smiling like how you did in the picture, cause to me, you've always been smiling even without me. To tell you the truth, i couldnt wait for the day we could stay under the same roof then. I already had it all planned in my mind how my life would be.
But now, I just really wish i'll see that macdonalds laugh of yours more often. I wish i'll stop hurting so badly. I wish it was really seventh month for us.

Claudia, im still waiting. :(