Never should've thought life's gonna be smooth.

LifeFrame is like fun. :))

Its been a problematic week, but I guess I've survived so far.

Can't stand how people never really accept me for who I am. Its starting to make me want to change, to change out of this personality that I've had for years. One that I've felt so comfortable and happy with. Now I've to change.

And I'm not even changing for even the slightest bit of a smart reason. Nor does it even make sense.

Everybody has flaws, but do remember that everybody do have strengths. I've learnt to hang out with people I don't like, but I don't openly show that I dislike them. Yes, I may ignore them a little here and there, but I don't ignore them entirely. Basically I'm just trying to avoid getting myself all worked up and ruining friendships in the end. Afterall, I believe that everybody deserves a chance, a second chance, and sometimes even the third.

I miss my secondary school alot. Though there were so many conflicts here and there, but we survived it all. We forgave and forgot, we gave in and took, we accept and get accepted, we comfort and hurt, we cry and laugh - but all in all, it ended happily. Till now, I haven't really felt the 'omg i love this school and this team max'. We've had conflicts in our old team, many in fact, but I've never felt like this before. I've never fucking cried because of people I'm not even close with. But yesterday I did, and I can't remember how many times I did that last night. I've never even cried for so long before. And the simple reason was - I felt inferior. I didn't feel good enough. I couldn't meet expectations. I didn't behave the ideal way. I couldn't feel comfortable, nor express myself. It just didn't feel like MY team. The people I've accepted became strangers, and the strangers become my friends. I don't know what's going on.

I just don't like the feeling of this. I hate feeling inferior. My self-esteem's going down all over again. I don't even wanna be viewed in the light. I just want to be more capable.

I'M GONNA FUCKING PROVE EVERYBODY WRONG. Because I never believe I won't get up after a fall. No matter how deep I fell, I'm getting up all over again. I'm not gonna give up on myself like how I always used to. I'm never gonna let myself down anymore.

T, I'm sorry you feel that I'm avoiding you now, but I'm just not so prepared to give you the third chance so soon. Maybe because I'm facing complications myself, and my heart can't settle. You'll soon realise what has gone wrong, and maybe someday you'll realise that this is what the society like. You shouldn't assume we're like your secondary school friends, because we aren't. Neither are all of you any like my secondary school friends. Everybody just change over time, and even I've to change now. So maybe someday I'll be opening up to you again, and hopefully you're not gonna try and hurt us all over again.