Emotions relapse

I don't know why I feel so emotional now but I really need a ranting space before I really break down. I appreciate how people always try to be there for me, but sometimes it just doesn't help because its all inside me and how I feel. No matter how I try to put it into words, it never comes out exactly how I'm feeling inside.

I feel so used. So like a substitute. I don't feel valued nor even appreciated for. Everybody can just irk me so easily. I feel very sensitive. But fuck, I wasn't like this before. Why has this new school moulded me into such a miserable person? Why can't they make me feel like this is my second home like how Xinmin never fails to do? Why?

They're making me lose my passion for something that used to get my going in school. Something that was a source of motivation and encouragement. They're ruining my life. They're not giving chances. They're taking every single little thing that's so priceless away from me.

I really hate this. I really want to break down now.

This feeling inside can't even be explained with just plain words. All these are just understatements. I'm too naive to think this feeling of regret will go away. I know it won't. I must just hang in there and hopefully I won't die halfway through this 2 year journey. (or maybe 3)

I MISS XINMIN SECONDARY SCHOOL AND MY COHORT PEOPLE TO THE MAX. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.

And the best part probably comes when the people I need the most doesn't even realise how much I need them now.