where'd the trust go?

I know by seeing me and him hang out a lil' more makes you feel insecure, cause its like I had it better than you. Well, Im telling you now, I didn't. You had your friends by you when you needed them, and I didn't. At least to me, I didnt feel like I got a permanent one. Plus, now, we're just friends. If you think these are excuses and that everything was a lie, I can't do much.
Y'know, I really thought we were good friends, until I realised how insignificant I was to you before I let you go. You would NEVER tell me your secrets, how you were thinking and what was going on. But I told you everything about me and updated you all the time, didn't I? I know,
I was never a great friend in your eyes. But I really trusted you through it all, and I've never lied to you/tried hiding anything from you.
I wrote so much but everything disappeared, so I guess I'll just tell you this - you can be a great friend if you put your heart into it. I've seen how you do all the little little things just to brighten someone's day.
So continue to bring joy to others, cause its a gift you have that not many have. I wish I could bring joy too, but that isn't the point.
I hope you'll cherish those around you more, cause you know the pain of losing one. And you can stop all the assumptions now, cause Im telling you now that its not true.
Im sorry I made you feel like I stole someone so dear to you, but i've felt this too many times before. Nonetheless, I still owe you an apology though it might not make sense because so many things happened and I no longer keep his heart.

I just hope sometimes you'll believe/trust me like how I did to you, and that I didn't betray you or any of that sort.
I hope you'll be happy and get your life back, cause Im sure you've amazing friends. :)
But, im trying to get my life back too - I guess everything takes time.
Ps/ im always just a text/phone call away if you ever need me. All the best to you in whatever you do. And I really do wish you'll believe in friendships more even if it isnt ours cause I know I havent been a great friend since secondary school started.
:/